I'm a real live Professor and Everything!

I don't remember if I posted back when I first got this job that I would have to teach a college class. Which, I am not embarrassed to admit, scared the crap out of me. I don't have a problem speaking in front of people...usually. But my years in Cincinnati broke me because the students, while perfectly nice one-on-one, were HORRIBLE as a group. Would never listen, always talk about and complain about how whatever it was I wanted was stupid and boring and they weren't going to do it...in fact, I DO remember writing at some point that it got so bad I decidedly to individually register approximately 200 juniors for the SAT over a period of about a week rather than do it as a class in one day. Seriously, the only reason I never cried in front of them is because I knew it would be all over and I'd never have any credibility. So I just saved my tears for when I could close my office and ignore any knocking.

As one could imagine, you don't walk away with that without some scarring (at least, not if you're oversensitive me). I first taught this class the spring semester, and it was okay. It helped that there were only 7 students--I basically just led it like a group counseling session. Getting them to talk was challenging, but they always did eventually. This time, however, there were 29 students. And they were 29 talkative, smart students. Who liked to challenge me...not in a negative way like Cincinnati ones, but in a "keeping me on my toes" way. The third session I started to get really really scared about how I would survive. I literally could not plan a lesson, I was so frozen up with anxiety about the idea of doing it. Thankfully I didn't have to, because my co-worker volunteered to teach my class on the condition I help her with one of her units, which I happily agreed to.

But guess what? Somewhere along the way it started to get fun. I started thinking of it in a few ways: one, that them talking and being engaged and asking me things showed that they liked and respected me, and two, that they have much shorter memories for my embarrassing moments than I do. It helped that I gave them a stern talking-to that said, "I'm not a yeller, I don't like doing it and I shouldn't have to. I listen to you when you speak so I expect you to do the same for me. This isn't high school so I don't want to treat you like you're kids." Then I started working on my Look when I could hear people talking. Then I would call on the people talking if the Look didn't work. And guess what...they got the hint! They would still talk, but apologize or stop when I Looked at them. And then the semester was over and I did real live course evaluations and everything (which I completely forgot to do last spring). And they were GOOD. Of course, they weren't "Amy is AWESOME!," but the things they said that weren't 100% positive were totally legitimate and I agreed with. And there WERE a lot of positives, moreso than I would have expected.

And then, just like a real live professor, I took way too long to grade their final essays (hey, you try wading through approximately 25 essays on "Who is the most positive influence in your life, and why?") and only just finished that up today, to post online tomorrow, despite me telling them it was going to be last week. But I went through all of the steps and I survived and did pretty well and have a lot of ideas of how to be even more successful next fall when I teach it again.

It is a crazy feeling, doing something that scared the crap out of me and not only surviving, but feeling positive about it, and seeing how I grew, both in my ability to do it and my positive feelings about myself. Look at me, I'm learning and growing! Even at the ripe old age of 34.

Really, Friday Night Lights? REALLY?

After a year of being awesome and realistic and nailing so many details of what life is like for both teenagers and adults, you're going to go with an "I killed your attempted rapist and we panicked and threw his body over the bridge into the river" storyline? Boooooo.

In other television news, I have test-driven Dirty Sexy Money, Big Bang Theory (whoo boy...talk about ASS), Aliens in America, Carpoolers, Reaper, and Gossip Girl....sicking with Aliens and Carpoolers. I have three episodes of Brothers and Sisters, which both the professor and my friend the internet sleuth recommended...but I have yet to feel motivated enough to watch them. I also have Pushing Daisies on the back burner as well, but because the premise seems kind of irritating to me, I've felt little motivation to actually watch it, preferring instead to continue to slog through the jillion What Not to Wears I seem to have found myself obsessively recording.

However, 30 Rock continues to be awse! The Office hasn't been terrible, I started watching America's Next Top Model again cause my sister watches, and I've been weirdly obsessed with Biggest Loser despite the fact nobody is terribly compelling this time around. I think it's because Jillian is back and she kicks some serious ass. Plus Bob grew out his mullet. So it's all good.

Why yes, I AM OCD. Why do you ask?

Cincinnati Boy (or, ex-boy) always used to say I would make a great stalker, because I get very obsessive about certain things. I remember trying to get a library book in NYC (The Corrections, if you must know, which....not worth the effort!) and not wanting to be on the 1000+ person waiting list. Instead, I just checked online every day to see if a one-week only, no renewal copy had been returned yet to my local branch, then...yes, ran down to said branch as soon as I saw it was there to get it. My dad always uses the phrase "bee in her bonnet" to describe my mom, and...much as I hate to admit it, that expression kind of applies to me.

Right now I have a bee in my bonnet about the Cherry Blossom 10-mile run. Why? I don't know. But it's a run I wanted to do last year in preparation for the half-marathon, only I couldn't get in because apparently literally 20,000 runners register and it's filled within 4 days of registration opening. So I just checked online and saw they finally posted an online date, I emailed myself the link, I have written it in my appointment calendar, I am ALREADY PLOTTING whether or not I can be late to work that day so that I can register at 8:00.00 a.m....people, this is for a race that is in APRIL. And registration starts TWO MONTHS FROM NOW. The hell?

I guess it's nice that life is un-stressful enough that this is what I can focus my energy on? Yes, that's it...the glass is half-full.